Giovanni's Room
"Perhaps everyone has a garden of Eden, I don't know; but they have scarcely seen their garden before they see the flaming sword. Then, perhaps, life only offers the choice of remembering the garden or forgetting it. Either, or: it takes strenth to remember it, it takes another kind of strength to forget, it takes a hero to do both. People who remember court madness; people who forget court another kind of madness, the madness of the denial of pain and the hatred of innocence; and the world is mostly divided between madmen who remember and madmen who forget. Heroes are rare." James Baldwin, Giovanni's Room
I know I've mentioned before my penchant for books...they have and always be my addiction. I own over 1000 now, and am sure I have read over 5000, I stopped counting a long time ago. It's much easier to tell you what kind of books I don't like than to list all of the kinds I do like and do read...I really dont like books on or about politics...other than that...I'm open. One of my pleasures is horror, has been since I was a kid.
I purchased Giovanni's Room about 15 years ago at a street table in NY.
street tables for those who don't know, are guys who put tables of books on the sidewalks all over NY; (not to be confused with street vendors who actually buy books to sell in this way) they are mostly bums or transients, who "get" books, either by
- stealing them
- people give them to them
- they buy used books very cheaply
- they "fall off the truck"
"fall off the truck", was my italian truck-driving uncles way of saying back in the day, that the truck drivers would sell stuff out the back of the truck for partial cost or take items for their own families and tell the bosses that it "fell off the truck", ... lol When I was little I remember my stepfather and my uncles bringing home tv's and such, a joking how it "fell off the truck" and I always wondered how it didn't get broken when it fell off.
I digress, so I bought the book at a street table....99% of these books were used books, rarely (and luckily) could you come across a book that was new or near new, but these are the places where I bought many of my books, many of them for less than a dollar each...regardless of size, price or condition. When I was 17, 18, 19....living in my little rat hole of an apartment, I could go to Manhatten, right on 8th and 6th, with ten dollars and cart home grocery bags of books. I would spread them on my bed, and around my room in piles and read to my hearts content.
Even today there are no less than 8-15 books next to my bed at any given time. Two constants are "The Prophet" by Khalil Gibran, and the other is The Essential Rumi. Both books I have been reading over and over for many years, and damn if i don't find something new each time I read them. I'm convinced it's not that I'm finding something new in the books, but something new within myself.
Back to Giovanni's Room....I bought the book on sight because my father's name is Giovanni, and because I recognized James Baldwin as a black writer, and I collect books by black writers. I was unpacking (another) box yesterday, when I came across it and read the back cover, "the story of a young american involved with both a woman and a man." Do tell! I'm already more than halfway thru it, and it is amazing. The descriptive way he tells this story and the absolute anguish the title character is in....the only bad thing I've found about this book so far is it's so short and I'm almost done with it!
I read some biographical info on Baldwin...seems like he had the worst of both worlds, being black and struggling thru the civil rights era, and struggling with his sexuality in a society that still forces our men to hide their sexualty for fear of retribution from family, friends and society as a whole. It's doubly sad that so many great writers are not even acknowledged until they are dead, and he was never even given the recognition I think he should have had. They should make a movie out of this book, really.
Anyway, enough of my running on, it's a great book, I highly recommend it. At 224 pages, it's a slim paperback, an easy read, but no less powerful for it.
This was supposed to segway into a post about my father, because the book....it's the same as his name....but I wound up rambling about the book, lol
I think I mentioned before, my father was never in my life. Him and my mom were married when I was born...to other people....and once I was born, for whatever reason, my mom did not want to be with him. He, unfortunatly, had already chosen to tell and leave his wife, who proceeded to leave him and leave their 4 kids with him. Maybe thats why my mom couldnt stay with him, she would have had an instant family of 5. Who knows. Their history is so convoluted.
All thruout my childhood, I remember her yelling when she was mad about something, "you look just like your damn father", it was confusing because I always assumed that was a bad thing...had to be right, if it was spit at you whenever you did anything wrong?
My dad had a very long and strange italian name (he was Sicilian and Zulu), so (this was before computers, mind you) whenever I would come across a phone book, either in the towns we lived in, or if we went to another family or friends house, I would try and look his name up in the phone book, thinking one day I would see his name and could find him and maybe he could help me.....escape my stepdad, the beatings, my mom, my life....
Never happened. I'd already left home multiple times, been beaten more times than i can count, seen my mother beat almost to death, my brothers and sisters thrown to the wind before the day came....I was 17...we had been living in this town for many many years, and here I was....again.....looking in the phone book.
My mother had always spelled the beginning of my fathers name DePa*******, of course here I am again, looking and I didn't see it but for whatever reason, kept looking, down the list of D's and all of a sudden, there it was.... DiPa*******.
Same name. one letter different.
But the same odd, strangely spelled last name that I've never seen anyone else ever have. And right there in the same town I was living in? I picked up the phone, dialed the number...a woman answered...I asked if I could speak to Jean (short for Giovanni, everyone called him Jean...I didn't even know his name was Giovanni until years later)...there was a pause, she asked my name, I said just my first name, and she puts her hand over the phone and yells,
"Jean....your daughter is on the phone"
This is a really cool post, I love the way you wrote it. I'm happy that you found your dad (if that was what happened? Did I understand wrong?)
:)
-JV
Posted by
Mr. Death |
3:59 PM EDT
OMG. Why can't you tell us more? Is this what your book is about that you are writing? I wish you would post twice a day. A friend of mine just sent me several Rumi books and I like them. I just read some about James Baldwin---it seems like we read a poem of his in my poetry class from long ago and we got into some huge and strange debate about his not so "secret life." So what did your dad say? I can't believe you found him. I wouldn't mind talking on the phone. I will send you my number and you can call anytime. Just warning you that I am not good on the phone. Ok, later.
Anna
Posted by
Motherhood is Here |
4:30 PM EDT
Random thought: I've noticed that on several occasions you have commented that you lost a post. There's the option Recover Post which is underlined and located under the title box when you're writing up the post. Just in case you didn't know.
Posted by
theequeenbee |
7:44 PM EDT
omg is right.
I think I had a crap childhood; how do you deal with a situation like this?
I am a book lover, too. The book tables in N.Y.; I would have loved that. I also have at least 8 books at my bedside; right now James Frey; both of them; Secret Life of Bees; Jennifer Weiner...
Posted by
Cathy |
8:41 PM EDT
"I have read over 5000"
It's been almost a year and I have yet to finish a book..It's been hard for me to concentrate and stay focused.
The rest of your story ..Wow is all I can say.
Posted by
Heidi |
9:20 PM EDT
Over $1000 books owned, you're buildining a library/bookstore. I need to find a good book to read too. I hate politics too.
Posted by
Unknown |
1:36 AM EDT
Don't mind the $ in the comment, money on my mind! LOL
Posted by
Unknown |
1:37 AM EDT
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Posted by
NeenaLove |
3:53 AM EDT
heading over to amazon to look for that baldwin book.
and the last part of the post... did you read this months issue of essence? the one with MARY J. on the cover? they printed the winning submission for the short story contest they ran. anyway... i loved the piece and thought you might like to read it.
hugz,
neena
Posted by
NeenaLove |
3:57 AM EDT
OMG... you can't end that there!!!!!!!
~Deb
Posted by
Dr. Deb |
12:37 PM EDT
Girl what happened? What did he say? What did you say?
Posted by
MIZPOWDERPINK |
1:22 PM EDT
legendary James Baldwin - i love him.
Posted by
Clay |
7:00 PM EDT
Your heart must have stopped at that very moment.
Posted by
Chele |
9:36 PM EDT
Damn! How did I miss this post. I'm in complete shock! Let me go read the other part of this story.
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5:11 PM EDT
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