Strange Days

I took my love, I took it down
Climbed a mountain and I turned around
And I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills
'Til the landslide brought me down

Oh, mirror in the sky, what is love
Can the child within my heart rise above
Can I sail through the changing ocean tides
Can I handle the seasons of my life

Well, I've been afraid of changing
'Cause I've built my life around you
But time makes you bolder, even children get older
And I'm getting older too

Oh, take my love, take it down
Aha, climb a mountain and turn around
And if you see my reflection in the snow covered hills
Well, the landslide will bring it down

And if you see my reflection in the snow covered hills
Well, the landslide will bring it down

Joe went to NJ w/ his mother to take care of some personal business. He left last tuesday and will be back this tuesday. I miss him terribly, and it has made me think of what my life would be like without him. He is an awesome presence in my life as well as my daughters life, and I think we are better because of him.

I spoke to him tonight, and he told me he's so ready to be home, which, of course I was glad to hear.

I'm not used to being in a house this size. Even when we stayed in our tiny little apartment, I was nervous if he wasn't there at night, but this house...this is something totally different. If someone broke into the house, my bedroom is so far from the front I wouldn't hear it. Granted if they came in the back I would probably blow their brains out....but I guess you can see where the whole thing just makes me nervous. lol

I've spent the whole weekend putting tons of Jessica's 14/16 clothes up on Ebay, I've always bought her quility clothing, and most of it is in like-new condition, so I think it will sell. it should. If so, I will put it toward her 14th birthday that is coming up in Feb. She wants to have her party here at the house and invite kids from school. We're talking about 50 or so kids. I'm so not looking forward to it. It's bad enough when she has two of her girlfriends here this weekend...they giggle like mad at absolutely nothing, eat like horses and hog up the phone.

Yeah, yeah I'm complaining....but she's a good kid...and it's all a part of being a teenager....in a sense, I'm kind of enjoying it all. I know in a few years she'll be running off into the sunrise of her life, so I have to enjoy even the moments that drive me nuts. It scares me to know that one day she won't be my "little girl" anymore...she will grow up and one day become someone else's "mommy"....will she still be my little girl?

I suppose at that time, I will be able to look back, and see the work that I put into my little girl to make her into a woman....and maybe have the opprotunity to revel in being a grandmother. I ask god to bless our relationship all the time....the last thing I want is for us to have an adversarial relationship, like my mother and I had. So far, so good...she still talks to me about everything, and we're able to laugh about most things, rather than take them too seriously. I'm lucky to have her.